Memory Lane…

1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

God has had me on quite a journey over the past few weeks and it all stems from sexual abuse that I experienced when I was 5 years old.

Since I decided to have a relationship with God, He has been trying to work with me on this topic and the addictions that I have struggled with since I was 15.

I would cooperate with Him at times but then push Him away. I did this on and off for the past 11 years. Finally it all came to a head.

I think I got sick of struggling. I would cry out to Him for help, even while I was participating in my addiction, and at other times I didn’t care what happened to me. I learned today that I was wrestling with Him.

The main addiction I was struggling with was drinking and then one day about 6 months ago, I got the brilliant idea to go back to smoking weed. This way I would have something a little “safer” to use and considered it a step in the right direction.

Then one day a few weeks ago (this is when my journey to deliverance finally came) I was listening to a show on Moody radio. It was background noise to me while I was doing chores but this one line came through loud and clear. This man said “it’s like smoking pot so you stop drinking”. Oh my gosh! This was definitely a wake up call.

Then the next day, I noticed 1 Corinthians 10:13. God recently told me to start sharing on Tik Tok (maybe someone on there needs to hear my story) so I went on Tik Tok and talked about it and it was the first time I ever said that I was a recovering alcoholic and it felt good.

I had read this scripture hundreds of times over the years and asked God where my way out was and He kept telling me that I needed to really want “the way out”. I was always confused with this because I obviously wanted a way out, I cried out to Him so many times over the years but when it came up this time I really pondered the question, do I want a way out? This time I did.

I realized I was scared to come out of my addiction completely. I played the game of making rules like, only drinking on certain days and only drinking a certain amount. I was trying to appease Him and also hold on to what brought me protection, from my feelings, all these years.

Once I was honest with myself and God, the power of the addictions lessened significantly and I knew it was time to deal with my past.

The first issue to deal with was my 5 year old girl who has been suffering inside of me all these years. So, I drove out to the neighborhood where I grew up until I was 8 years old and I went down memory lane on video.

Feel free to check it out below. There is a link for Tik Tok (28 parts on the very bottom) and YouTube (2 parts). Please subscribe to either one if you would like to keep up with future videos which I feel I will be focusing on more often than writing.

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