Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Hey Everyone, I know it’s been a while. I actually noticed that I stopped writing about 3 years ago and this month will be 3 years since I moved to Wisconsin.
I don’t know if it was God’s plan for me to move or if I was running from him, but no matter what I know that he knew it was going to happen and he went before me.
The first two and a half years I was in Wisconsin I was in the desert. Spiritually it is a dry place without much movement. But I wondered if the reason there wasn’t much movement is because I had a wall up to God. I wanted what I wanted in life.
The reason I thought maybe I ran was because I had been doing a lot of what I considered God’s work, like taking people into my home. Maybe it just became to much? When you see someone strive and accomplish so much and grow so much and then they fall back into their old lives, it is kind of devastating. When you see the path to freedom which they should go down but then the enemy snatches them back, it is hard to watch. However, I know God wouldn’t weigh us down with work that is to hard for us.
Maybe I was just becoming selfish. Why should I do all this work and still have nothing to physically show for it? I wanted more and I wanted a break. I wanted what others had so to be able to attain it I moved to a cheaper state.
During this new season I fought with myself a lot but had a kickass apartment. I think that God lead me to this specific apartment because he gave me my desires. An apartment with stairs leading to the living area, vaulted ceilings, beautiful huge kitchen, pool, fitness center, sand volley ball court, 2 underground parking spots with internet and cable included in the low, low price of $985.
Shortly after I moved I started to freak out, feeling like I threw away everything including my purpose but God told me that he still loved me and showed me in his own way through this set up. I also think he let me have it because I needed to see that having material possessions and money was not fulfilling like my old life was.
He let me experience luxury so I could see that it doesn’t hold what I had. I had an old house falling apart but tons of love and purpose in my life. Then I moved and it was all about me. The opportunities to help others weren’t there like they used to be, meaning my purpose felt like it was gone and I didn’t ever think I would get it back. However, God had plans I did not know about, He was working behind the scenes on my behalf.
I ended up moving to another town in Wisconsin because I had no choice and I am back into a lower income area but still a very nice apartment with just the things I actually need, no more luxury.
But as soon as I moved here I felt purpose again. Like it says in Scripture it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God (Matthew 19:24). I guess the more pain you are in, the more your open to the hope, love and peace that God can provide. I am again surrounded by people who need him, who need me to share who he is with them.
Anyway, I am back now. I came out of the desert in my new apartment and I have been on fire for God again and the urgency to share is intense with everything that is going on in the world now. Times are rough and they are going to get worse. So, let’s get back on the saddle and strengthen ourselves in the Lord together.
God went before me to Wisconsin and he never left me even when I was distancing from him.
I guess the whole point is that no matter how far you think you have fallen, no matter what you chase in this world, God is still there to catch you. He loves you very much. He is just waiting on you to come back to him.