I have taught this youth group for almost 6 years now. I started teaching them about 4 months after I was saved. So I was on fire for the Lord and taught them everything that God was teaching me. We bonded and grew together.
Well since my recent transformation with Christ, I have been consumed by God and I am again on fire for Him but with more maturity. The emotion that has consumed me most is love. Which makes sense because God is love.
Today I was in charge of preaching to the children during our youth service. I had a deep message from God about how we were created in His image. I was excited about the message but didn’t expect the emotion that came out of me.
The girls in our youth group started with their worship and they did an amazing job. The Spirit was flowing through our Church in such a powerful way that my body began to tremble and this emotion welled up inside of me.
I taught on how God said ‘Let us create mankind (everyone) in OUR image’. He is speaking of the Trinity, therefore we are created in 3 parts. The Soul, Spirit and body.
The soul is our mind. It stores our conscious, imagination, memories, feelings, and it is where we get our reasoning. The spirit receives impressions from our soul (mind). And the body contains the 5 senses.
Now our spirit in it’s original state (before the fall) contained Faith (trust), hope, prayer, worship and reverence (deep respect) for God. After the fall (sin) these things died. We still have the knowledge of God when we are born (Romans 1:20) but we are distant and if that fire is not kept alive (by our parents) it becomes more distant.
On top of this we experience life and the sin that happens through others toward us. So when “bad” things happen to us they go through the soul and emotions are attached to them and then an impression is made in our spirit that is already distant from God, but should love God.
This creates impressions of who we believe God is in our spirit. For me, I had huge trust issues (wall) with other people because of the things that were done toward me. This was impressed in my spirit through my soul and I didn’t trust God, which created more distance.
The cure is receiving the Holy Spirit, which is being born again (John 3:3). The job of the Holy Spirit is to regenerate (regrow what was lost) our spirit to it’s original condition.
In my story, God took me through intense healing for the past 2-3 years. The Spirit searched me and God, He saw the gaps, saw why they were there and lead me in healing. It felt like a long process that I thought would never end but it did, and I am able to love like I never have before. My spirit is in now in agreement with God’s. My mind (soul) has been renewed.
When Jesus was on the cross, He didn’t spit down upon the people who hurt Him in order to try and gain some revenge. Instead He said “Father, forgive them”. I am now able to separate person from action (sin) and love on them. This is so much more fulfilling than hurting them back and holding onto the pain, but it wasn’t possible without the Holy Spirit in my life.
I am so moved by the love that I have for others, that I prayed after my message and wept for this man that I met. He is gay and very involved in an LGBT organization (this will be my next blog). Without God and the regeneration that has happened within my soul and spirit, He wouldn’t have been able to use me to plant the seeds that He did in this mans soul. Real, untainted love is the best feeling I have ever experienced.