Comfort in the field!

cat tail

I would go to this field by our home and stand there with the sun shining on my face, the crickets and birds singing, breathing in the warm summer air. I found peace and comfort here, I felt protected. I remember the cat tails the most, those things that feel like a cat’s tail when you run them through your hand, ya know?

I was 5 years old and I just had something traumatizing happen to me. I was so scared, insecure, unprotected, and damaged. Yet, this field drew me in.

I am a grown woman now and when I found the Lord, He started to prepare me for healing of that time in my life, He reminded me of that field and told me that He was there, He was what made me feel peace and protection that enveloped me in those days.

I hadn’t thought of that time in over a year, but God brought it up again recently and told me it is time.

I closed myself off from the Lord for fear of what was to come and fell into depression.

I realized that the enemy stole my field. When I would stand on my porch and the sun would shine down on my face, I was paralyzed with depression. The birds, bugs, and summer air turned my stomach. My field turned into a nightmare. I tried to reach out to people in the Church, but they never followed through, I was alone, closed off from God. Just me and the enemy.

Finally God brought a woman into my life who brought other women into my life. I also called a friend out of the blue who told me about a Spiritual gifts conference that was starting that very night.  I wanted the Prophecy, that was my main drive. I wanted to hear from God.

I went, I worshiped. I went up for prayer and a girl gave me a message from God. It was something I needed to hear but not specific enough. I sat down and prayed “God if you can work through these people, I need specifics, you know why I am here and what I need to hear from you”.

A man stood up and hushed the crowd, saying he had a message for me. He called out specifically to me, things that only God knew I had told him. I broke down into tears, because he is still with me. I thought he left me but I realized I shut him out. He was waiting for me to come back.

I met a woman who leads Stephen Ministries, a ministry where they pair you with someone to walk through things with you. I have been looking for this kind of support for 3 years. I was told I would be considered but it wasn’t definite yet and I would know in a couple days.

I was outside my house today trimming my wild flowers and I noticed the cat tails, but they are purple, I have never seen a purple cat tail in my life. I ran it through my hands over and over, remembering my field and I told God “I’m ready”. I walked in the house and right at that moment I got word that I was paired up with a woman to walk through this with me.

God brought back the Joy of my field, that the enemy stole, and He brought Hope into it that I will be okay.

The last piece to this is, while I was at Bible study, we watched a video of Kay Arthur speaking. She has you highlight things in the Bible as you study. She mentioned that we should highlight the word Justified because it means to be made righteous. She mentioned that she highlights it in PURPLE, because that means royalty and belonging to God.

My cat tails are purple. God is letting me know He was with me in the field and He is here now. I am not that damaged little girl, I am His daughter, royal and righteous. I shall be redeemed.

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