John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
So recently my sin has kicked up again, what I thought I was so strong in and what I thought was dwindling came back with a vengeance.
It scared me and I started to think I was just not worth being a Christian anymore. I felt that I was not able to do the things God was asking of me. I felt I had no right to pray anymore, that I didn’t deserve any blessings in my life. It even ran through my mind to just go back into survival mode like I was in before I met God.
I went to a random Church service at a Church I did not know. God spoke through the preacher powerfully and hit every point I was thinking about, to do with my life and myself as God’s daughter. I even told my boyfriend on the way there that I felt I was hiding from God, I skipped worship at my Church that morning and just felt so sad during service. I mentioned how Adam and Eve hid from God when they sinned. That is the very Scripture they began that evening service with.
So Monday night I finally broke down and laid in my bed crying deeply, telling God not to let the enemy take me back and that I am sorry I am so weak and I don’t know if I will ever be able to get out of these strongholds.
The next afternoon I had a meeting with a woman who I was referred to, so she could see if she could help me find a job. We had a really good talk and she spoke of the very things that I had thought God was placing as desires in my heart for the future. As we spoke God confirmed that He would still be using me, He is still guiding me on this same path.
I realized on the drive home that Jesus overcame this world. I had heard this hundreds of times and all the sudden it just clicked in a different way to me. He overcame so I can overcome and find victory over this sin in my life. I am a weak human being but since my Father is God, I will be transformed. He will fulfill His purpose for me.
God has become more powerful to me, His strength and Grace is very necessary in my life. I just have to keep trying and every time I try I get stronger and He becomes more present in my life.
So don’t take advantage that God forgives and gives Grace, but know that when you do fall, He will pick you up and push you forward bringing you further than you were before.
The main thing I guess I learned is that we can’t do anything without Him. We think we have this or that, we are strong and will never be taken down in that area. But if we are not realizing God needs to be our strength, we will be taken and not even see if coming.
Also, the Hope in Jesus Christ took root deeper in my heart. That night when I was crying I didn’t see hope, the next day He put Hope and Joy right back into me through Church and another one of His daughters. There is never a dead end or a mountain we can’t climb with Him leading us.