I had my training on oppression last night, it was so amazing. I have so much to share, I will try to keep it short though.
I began by telling the class that I am a Christian and had to really pray on being part of what they are calling a feminist movement. I was thanked by people for sharing my Faith, I am not sure why but I was, so that went well (:
Then a woman came out and said that she was bi-sexual, this comes together later in the story.
Then we got these index cards about things that have been said by people in the world or statistics etc. We went around and read them aloud. This one man had one by a Pastor and the Pastor said “All homosexuals and anyone who associates with them will burn in hell”. I started shaking right away and got enraged and then felt tears welling up. After we can share our thoughts, so I said I was offended by the Pastors comment, and I started to ball, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I said that was a horrible representation of me and mostly of God, I told them to set the sin part aside because the part I am talking about is the hatred, and I told them all, God is about Love, not hatred and I believe that is why so many people run from God, because people like him portray God as a hate filled God who wants to punish.
I believe I was so overcome with grief because it was God’s grief, I could feel it deep in my soul. Here is a bi-sexual woman sitting across from me and hears a Pastor say something like that. God wants her to know He loves her also, her sin is between them and doesn’t make God not want to love her.
So then we played a game where we all stood in a line and held hands, the leader said things and we moved forward and back accordingly. She asked stuff like “If one of your parents went to college move forward, if you have ever had food stamps move back etc. So we were all over the place by the end of the night. Turns out I was in back of the room with two Hispanic women and the bi-sexual woman. The point was that this is where society puts us based on how well our families do worldly.
I had a revelation about this and shared with them that since i have been on my own, I have always lived in heavily populated Hispanic communities, I believed I was low class and worthless so I seem to have kept myself in the environment the world pegs as low class without realizing why. Now I know. I told them the most uncomfortable situation for me is to be in a room full of white women, but I am aware and trying to not be prejudice and give them a chance. Funny since I am white isn’t it (: We did determine though, that races have prejudice within their race.
I knew our sub conscious stores messages, I just saw it more clearly, and how the world oppresses us by who we come from and what we accomplish, who we are, the color of our skin etc.
Someone said “how did so much oppression take over the world”, I wanted to scream out it’s Satan, he wants to oppress us and the world follows their Father and look at what is happening. I figured not to push though. Oh and also that game we played seems alot like generational curses, doesn’t it? A pattern continues in your family line until someone breaks it and changes it.
So the last thing we did was listen to a story from a homosexual’s point of view. We go over homosexual a bit because that is the most oppressed group right now. So it was very eye opening and showed how isolated they become from family and friends who were once close and how their hopes and dreams can be destroyed etc. So the one girl ran to the bathroom and cried, when she came out she shared that she never experienced those things with friends but with her mom. Her mom told her to kill herself when she told her she was gay and this girl said if there was a pill to be straight she would take it to make her life easier. I saw so much pain and confusion in her.
I went into this already thinking that I was able to treat homosexuals the same as I do everyone else, but God opened my heart to having more compassion for them. The struggle they are held in bondage to and the pain that comes with it is intense.
So do I still believe it’s sin, Yes, do I think God loves them, Yes, do I believe there is consequence for this sin, Yes. All I can do is let God continue to use me to share who He really is and to wait for Him to open and soften hearts toward Him. He can use me more effectively when I have compassion, real compassion in my heart for everyone no matter what their sin is.
This has been an amazing journey so far, I love it. I am also the one that seems to lead these things, which I would have never imagined before, people following my lead? I first cried, I was transparent first etc. Then tears were flowing comfortably the rest of the night and people were opening up about secrets.
I did get a bit overwhelmed seeing all the pain and how lost they are, just wanting to be loved and feel happy. I wanted to scream at them all that God wants them, but I have to be patient and let God orchestrate timing.
This verse became very visually clear to me though. I read it the other day and didn’t realize God showed me this because I would actually be seeing it in my class. He was letting me know I would see the lost, I needed compassion for the crowds including the homosexual population, that they are harassed and need Him.
My uncontrollable tears were God’s tears coming through me.
Matthew 9:36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.