Shedding my blood!

Hebrews 12:4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

I sit here struggling, I can feel the anxiety in my chest, I feel my emotions rising and tears welling up in my eyes. My body is screaming to be fed, it wants that cigarette to touch my lips for smoke to pour into my lungs, to be blown into a white stream into the air around me.

I don’t want that though, I want to persevere. I can only do this with His strength. I need a way out God, you say it in your Word, you promise you will give me a way out.

I am reminded that shedding blood has pain, but as I am reminded to breathe deep and meditate and delight in Him, peace is brought to my body, the anxiety lifts a little more and  my body releases the tightness within every inch of my limbs.

I will fight this battle, yet I am weak on my own. I am reminded that I need Him, without Him these things aren’t possible, but with Him anything is.

Thank You for your Spirit within me to bring release through my suffering.

Thank you for the person you are creating within me, Thank you for showing me who I am and who I will be.

I Love You, and for you alone, I shed my blood.

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