Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” , declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you Hope and a future.
So last night was my first meeting at Celebrate Recovery, it’s a Christian AA group.
I wrote in a blog called “Power in my weakness”, that I finally admitted to myself that I was an addict/alcoholic. I didn’t think I was for so long because when I was born again it drastically went down and I defined an alcoholic with the amount of times you use. So God brought me to realizing that is not the case, and that I needed to take ownership of it and let it go completely. So I did and it was wonderful having that weight come off of me, from the shame of going against God.
So yesterday I was going to my first meeting, I was emotional all day and even angry. I didn’t want to go anymore and wanted to just do it on my own and move forward. I kept thinking “your not that bad, you can do it on your own”. I know that was my fear and the enemy trying to stop this part of my sanctification again. I had already drug my feet in doing this for about 6 months. I know God won’t let me move forward until this step is done. So out of obedience and not feelings I went.
It turned out fine, they had a speaker and no small groups due to that, so it was a good first day, eased me into just absorbing the environment and being there.
I feel good today and am excited because I know as I continue this God will start to open more doors for me to follow my path.
The best thing about all this is I realized again, that if we just listen to Him and do what were supposed to do in the moment, if we stop trying to take short cuts to get to the big picture, our souls are put to rest. I am not overwhelmed like I was, trying to get to the step I wanted to be at by trying to skip a few.
I am where I am, and where I should be today. My Spirit is peaceful today. I did something that I was so upset about doing and again God showed me He knows what He is doing, He knows what will bring me peace and fulfillment.
I felt like a little girl crying and whining to her dad last night, “Daddy, I don’t want to go, isn’t there another way”. Then as I was getting ready to leave I was like “Fine, I’m going, are you happy now, happy your making me so miserable”?
That made me smile and laugh because I pictured this whole little girl having a tantrum thing.
It may seem sometimes like He is just putting you in uncomfortable situations and making you do stuff that you don’t want to do, but His plans aren’t to harm us but to prosper us.