Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
We are all evil and selfish human beings, but I am sorry women seem to contain extra doses of these things. Women have a power to build or destroy. Many women take advantage of this power to get what she wants, to be in control. In the process tearing down her own home and hurting the ones within it.
I have many male friends who have fell victim to this scenario They marry a woman and she tears down and destroys their home in her actions and words. The way these women have acted resulted in destroying a covenant she made with God and the man she married, to always be with him, to do what she is to do as a wife to build up her home and her man up. The destruction of this vow not only created divorce but also took that man’s pride.
Respect is so important to a man, it tells people who he is as a person, Scripture tells us to respect our husbands, the Noble wife builds her husband up and does her work to keep the home together so that he is respected at the city gates, by outsiders.
Unfortunately when this is not done, it seems the man loses his sense of pride and struggles with who he is as a man. He couldn’t even keep his wife happy, right?
What you need to realize is that it is a two way street, and like I said “women are extra evil”, yet we play the victim well.
When we feel we fall short, whether man or woman, the first thing we do is compensate with what we have, this may be our looks, our career, our children etc.
God explains in Ezekiel 28, how Satan started to sin and eventually was thrown away from God to the earth. God says in verse 17 it was because of the pride in his heart on account of his beauty. Satan felt shame from sinning and focused on his looks becoming prideful, and look at the world today, just a bunch of insecure, evil people trying to look good.
Christians know when we fall short, we repent of what was our part and realize what we couldn’t help and let that person keep their shame, we can’t repent of someone else’s shame.
Don’t live in the condemnation of your past mistakes and let it destroy you.
Don’t let someone else try to keep you in condemnation, that is abuse.
Don’t focus on the others things to compensate and create Idols in them.
Don’t dwell on the past when you thought things were better and wish you were there again. You are here now, you still have work to do.
I guess the point here is don’t let someone else create your identity and tell you over and over what your shortcomings are or were. Be secure within yourself, so that nothing they say can hurt you so deeply that you over compensate.
Go back to the basics with God, and let Him build you back up. Set boundaries and live in the freedom you were called to live in.