Who are you? Really?

I have a phone interview with a company today that deals with babies with Plagiocephaly, that just means that they have flat spots on their heads, it can happen from laying on one side to often or being stuck in one position while in the womb.

I did some research on the company and one lady had said that it is a long interview process and they ask deep philosophical questions.  I also found the woman who I am interviewing with today on Linked In and I see that she has a Bachelors in Psychology. 

In my past I would have been to scared to pursue this interview and would have called it off, but with how much God has changed me, I am confident that I can pull this interview off with flying colors, as long as I don’t get nervous. 

The reason I am confident is because God is deep, He takes us really deep into our inner being and teaches us the Wisdom He has to change ourselves to become who we are supposed to be, He counsels us like a therapist would, but even better that any human could. I have been through, taking people venting on me personally and now God has taught me how to realize when someone just needs to vent and how it has nothing to do with me. I can decipher if I am the cause, and then I could fix it if I am, and I can decipher when I am not the cause, which helps me not take it personal and to carry this burden with the person and help them see the situation through another set of eyes. I guess seeing it logically and not through feelings is what I mean. 

Working in this clinic, would be working with upset moms, who are worried about their babies and you are the person there in front of them. I am equipped within myself to let them vent if necessary and then help them carry their burden and take them through the process of understanding what is going on and to see the situation logically, knowing that it is all going to be okay. 

This started me thinking about who I am and what I like. In the past I liked going to bars, playing pool, and watching bands etc. I don’t think I actually liked that though, I just liked what my boyfriends liked and tried to be the person they wanted. Or, If I didn’t have a boyfriend I wanted to be where I would find one. 

Now I can say that I don’t like doing any of those things, I am bored going to watch bands, I am bored trying to play pool, and I don’t like bars or clubs. 

I, the real me, the one I am getting to know, am deep. I like to read and study the mind and our emotions and how they work together and come out in our actions. I love musicals. I love Jazz and classical music. I love talking about God and Scripture seeing it deeper than what’s on the surface. 

I want to check out an Art Museum, go to a play, an opera, and a Jazz club. I want to find out who I am more. 

When I was born again, the process of finding me began, and I want to continue that Journey. 

It’s funny, when I left my last boyfriend about 4 years ago, I started this process and one thing I started to find out was what food I actually liked to eat. Crazy, right? I know there are so many people out there who have the same problem, they conform to who they think they need to be for someone else. Why? The problem is they don’t know who they are because their identity is in Christ and without Him you are lost.

When I first realized that I like my eggs over hard, I laughed, because it reminded me of the Runaway Bride. My whole life I was like her, I didn’t know what I liked, I conformed for others. I was fearful of intimacy. How can you be intimate with someone when you don’t even know who you are?

My one piece of advice today, is find out who you are. Take time for you. Don’t try to find you in another person. Love will wait and come along when it is time. Figure out who you are first and then you can make a proper decision on who you want. 

I guess this seems like it went off track, but it didn’t. The whole thing is, go deep, don’t be afraid of what comes to the surface. You will either throw it away because it wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place or you will find a piece of you that you never knew existed. 

This is why God says that He never gives us more than we can handle and yet it feels like He does at times. He knows the strength we have inside, He is just waiting for us to let the garbage come up and get purged so that we can see the real us come alive. He believes in us more than we do.

So start finding your strength today, don’t be afraid of the deep waters, and don’t let another day pass you by, where you are a stranger to yourself.


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