Psalm 139 13,16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalm 144; 4
Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.
Today is my Birthday, I never cared much for this day, who cares that I was born, have I done anything that matters in this world?
Now since the Lord is a part of my life I see that this day was given to me with a purpose. He knit me together inside and out. He chose and took His time deciding how I would look and who I was to be. He created a road for me, for my everyday. He gave me a purpose. It has been life, evil, and my weak heart that has kept me from doing anything that matters.
I have been struggling with depression a lot lately, I ask God to please help me, give me strength and confidence to do the things He has planned for me. I sit and cry feeling trapped within myself. I just want to run away from my own body. I want to be someone new.
I am new in Christ though, even though I struggle, it is different than before. I have always been depressed, I just numbed it out and was able to function better and had liquid courage. Now I cry out my sadness and talk through my weakness with God. I feel like I am wasting so much time.
God confirmed to me today in Psalm 144 that life is short. Think of how short a breath is and how quickly a shadow disappears. That is our lives compared to eternity. I can’t let this depression master me and waste my breath of life in this world. I can’t sit around focusing on my weakness. I want to make up for wasted time. I want people to know that God loves them and want’s to also help them.
Like I said even though I struggle it is a differrent struggle, it is one with hope and peace. I know it will get better because over the past 2 years it has already changed a lot. I have changed a lot.
A birthday is the day God decided to put you in this world to fulfil your purpose, to make a difference in everyone’s lives, everybody you come in contact with. I think, how can I show other’s God is good and He does change us for the better, when I am depressed. That’s just it, even though things come to take us down, we don’t go under, we rise and He pulls us up out of the crashing waves before we drown. He strengthens our Faith and gives us new meaning.
I know He is here and He will pull me out of this and bring me a new strength that I have never known before. I know my birthday was planned out with a purpose and that purpose wasn’t to sit around suffering.
I can’t wait to see who I have become by my next birthday and how many new things that scared the crud out of me I have conquered.
Happy Birthday to everyone out there, may your birthday bring new purpose to your life and may you truly let it be happy.