Happy New Years everyone,
Well it is 4:30 and I haven’t showered yet and have no big plans but it has been the best New Years so far (: I sorted through more paperwork to get rid of trash, something I have been saying I’ll do and never did. I talked through Purity in Corinth with Heaven and we signed Purity contracts, she is such a good girl and has good morals and standards. I just went over how sin will come in and Satan will try to lead us with our feelings but if we truly believe in our hearts that sex is only for our husbands and that God is right, it will help us stay strong when feelings come in.
I have also been coming up with traditions for our family. I would like to go over how God has changed our lives and blessings He has given us, on new years eve, then on new years I want to go over things we hope to accomplish with Him this next year and then look at that next year to see what we have accomplished.
Best of all I spent alot of time reminiscing with God about this year, the ways He has changed me. I cried so many grateful tears. He has been there for me all year, not once did I have to worry about anything that was happening in my life. The latest big thing was I lost my job. I was fired for bogus reasons, I’m not just saying that, and it’s been almost a month and still had no word on unemployment, I didn’t worry once, my faith in God has grown so much I hardly have anxieties anymore. Well, unemployment came through and God has been blessing me with some extra money with Mary Kay (something else He changed me with) and using my skills in cleaning houses again. Am I rich? Not financially, but in my soul, my mind, and my heart I am. I totally trust Him and whatever He decides. This is alot for a man to compete with (:
In July I had a dream that I was in trouble and I found a guy who I shared this with and he put his arm around me and made me feel safe, I woke up crying and thought this had to be because I was starting to think my job was ending, so I went on a fast. It’s great I did, even if you have a wonderful Christian husband he is still human and can lose jobs and stuff, God is the first one I want to be secure with. It has been great so far, God has come through amazingly and made me feel like a strong woman at the same time. I used to give anything in the hopes of finding a marriage to make my life secure and now marriage is something I debate at times.
My relationship with Heaven has healed and grown. We always spent alot of time together but it was usually always while fighting about something, now we actually talk and sometimes get deep. I try to focus on the good things that we tend to overlook and then communicate that to Heaven. Wow, what a concept, communication and encouragement, so simple yet so HARD (:
God has placed alot of good people in my life to bless me in many different ways. God doesn’t waste anything or anyone. Thing is I believe God does this for everyone even people who have rejected Him so far, he is in your life right now, using everything to try to guide you to Him. You think life bites now, try it without him at all, like in the end. We all have his common grace now and He is there giving you what you need, it’s just super magnified for those who become His children and we see it because we are no longer blind to what is really happening in this world.
Ok, next year maybe I will do a countdown but this year one of my number 1 favorites is when God told me for the second time that He was giving me my virginity back. He told me by healing me of an STD I had since I was 17. I had almost died of cervical cancer when I was 17 when I found out. I needed to go for paps every 3 month to keep an eye out for cancer starting. I had some of my cervix cut out and went on my way. Well, I ended up even being redirected in 2010 to the doctor who had taken care of this surgery, he suggested I get tested again for this disease and so we did and I came out clean. I no longer have to worry about this virus, this disease killing me. I am pure again for my hubby and I made a vow to stay pure. This paragraph alone is the biggest miracle so far in my life. Not just the physical healing but mainly the way I changed, I disrespected God and myself giving myself away to way to many people and did it to find a husband. Now, I took a vow to never touch another until marriage and I am on a fast actually not being able to find a husband anytime soon. The things I did before are not things you can just wake up and say “I’m gonna stop”, there is so much depth to why I did these things and seemed addicted, I was so determined that I believed this was the answer to my problems. There are so many other things I could say, but it would take til next year.
Wow, can many people in this world say they have changed that much in a year on their own? Nope, I say this with confidence. I know the truth, I contain the light and know that you can’t change this completely or this rapidly without intervention from God. I pray you all find new meaning in what new years really means in your walk with your father.
To a year of growth no matter where we are now, and renewed relationships, to personally find the definition of Peace and Joy. Happy New Years !!!!!!